“Kill them with kindness“

I do not agree with this statement because it goes against self preservation. The best way to “kill”someone who has hurt you in one way or another is to better yourself, not prove yourself. To be straightforward with you, it’s best to not consider killing them at all. You should completely detach.

Cut out the, “hey, look at me, you hurt me but I want to prove to you that it didn’t affect me by being nice to you.” Stop flexing your muscles. Reclaim your energy instead because there is no benefit to you to perform for someone who is not able to meet you where you are at.

For example, a woman at my place of business approached me quite aggressively. I took note of this and immediately stop working with anything that included her because I didn’t have to and due to her tone and lack of accountability, I didn’t want to. I had intentionally done someone a favor on her behalf however, she was not happy with the results and insulted me as a result. As the saying goes, no good deed goes unpunished. A cop told me this after a woman I gave a ride to refuse to leave my car after she insisted on insulted me because I didn’t agree with how she behaved. Anyway, after I expressed my confusion regarding her tone, I withdrew her student from my sessions and moved on with my life. At the end of the day, they will be fine and even if they won’t be, that no longer concerns me. If I am fine or not is what concerns me.

That doesn’t make me bitter, or mad, like an immature mind would like to tease or assume, it simply means I have boundaries and respect for myself.

I don’t go out of my way to be insulting in return nor do I hide. I simply am, I simply be. I continue my work because it matters to me and I preserve my energy for things that meet me where I am.

Killing someone with kindness would look like me performing to prove to her I am worthy of her respect or even an apology, but in the spirit of radical honesty, she owes me nothing. Whatever dues someone chooses to pay me is their business and how I respond, is mine. I owe myself by choosing myself. I don’t miss her payments, because I pay myself.

The old me, the people pleaser, would have wanted to clarify any misunderstanding between us, and prove my good intentions. But the new me, detached immediately. The new me, doesn’t withdrawal from my personal account, I only make deposits. The new me never, ever overextends.

Overextension causes you to give what you don’t have, and my bank does not allow me to go into the negatives. Although I’d like to believe I have a lot, I know in my heart I don’t have it all and not having it all is a good thing. Not being for everyone is a beautiful thing. Having limits is phenomenal.
Please save yourself from the idea of overextension. From proving yourself.

Know yourself enough to say, hey, I accept the way they see me; however, it doesn’t align with how I know myself; therefore, I will not show them why they shouldn’t see me this way. Instead, I will move on.

Who cares if this kills them or heals them.

All that matters is what is killing you and I promise you, even if you don’t want to admit it, attempting to kill them with kindness will cause a slow deterioration in yourself.

Know yourself, never show yourself.

You are worthy

So worthy that you don’t have to go out of your way to prove yourself.

Preserve yourself. You deserve that.

You deserve alignment, not pressure.